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  #31  
Unread 09-03-2019, 04:03 AM
EBEZA EBEZA is offline
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This should be fun to try to predict, with all the blank spaces! Let's have a crack!

Nathan Cruz vs Sam Bailey
I'm not sure how rigid your face/heel dynamic is, but I wouldn't put Cruz against Hayes at the moment.

Bhangra Knights vs ???
Joey Hayes & Asylum. I reckon Hayes ditches on Asylum, making himself one more enemy in the process.

The Dark Circus vs ???
"Party Boy" Liam Slater & Timmy Force. Timmy takes the fall.

??? vs ???
Blood & Earl Black Jr vs Sebastian & one of the Kutchners. Kutchner eats an L.

Bhangra Knights vs The Dark Circus vs Blood & Earl Black Jr
The main champ is profoundly heel, so let's have the tag titles on some good guys!
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  #32  
Unread 09-04-2019, 08:19 AM
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Default The One With The Rumbling Of An Empty Stomach







It was maybe an hour or so before our second show that Nathan Cruz wandered into the makeshift office I'd created deep within the bowels of our Old Mill venue. I saw his glistening white teeth coming from miles away. They burned my eyes they were that bright.

He cleared his throat to get my attention. I sat up and pretended to be interested.

Cruz: The guys in the locker room are hungry. You should really sort out some catering or something.

I did my best to stifle my laughter, hoping he didn't notice the case of champagne left over from last month's feast.

Me: That ship has sailed, pal. There's some take away menus in the cupboard. Knock yourselves out. I hear Dominos Pizza are doing a 2-for-1 offer at the moment.

I looked back down at my paperwork and pretended to be busy. He got the message loud and clear, turned and left. He was not happy. I didn't even pretend to care. Whether the guys had elected Cruz as their unofficial spokesman, or whether he just had the munchies, I'll never know.

I waited for his footsteps to disappear off into the distance before cracking open one of my many bottles of champagne, sat back in my comfy chair, and waited for the action to begin.

Chapter 2 results coming soon. If anyone fancies a go at beating Ebeza in the predictions stakes, please go ahead. More low-budget Great British Wrestling action to follow shortly!


Last edited by dstephe4 : 09-08-2019 at 07:26 AM.
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  #33  
Unread 09-04-2019, 06:53 PM
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Nathan Cruz vs. Sam Bailey

Bhangra Knights vs. Liam Slater & Sebastian

Dark Circus vs. the Kutchners

Blood & Asylum vs. Black Jr. & Force

Bhangra Knights vs. Dark Circus vs. Blood & Asylum
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  #34  
Unread 09-08-2019, 07:24 AM
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Default The One With A Case Of Mistaken Identity








Show held at The Old Mill in Leigh, Thursday Week 3, August 2019. Attendance: 41.



Angle: Too Hot For Hayes

After kicking off our show with the most spectacular indoor firework display that eBay could provide, we had a video recap showing how our new champion Joey Hayes had screwed over Sam Bailey, Nathan Cruz, RJ Singh, me and all the GBW fans on his way to the gold. Not bad for one night's work. The face of Hayes then filled our screens. He announced he was in hiding, as he was the most hated man in GBW, and public enemy #1. He declared he'd only emerge when his next opponent was announced. Until there was a certified, bona fide #1 contender, he said it was too dangerous to set foot at a GBW event. He informed us of this via video link from a secure, far away, undisclosed location. Angle Rating: 35.



Angle: The Contenders

I was angry at the way the inaugural GBW championship was won, and I took to the mic to let everyone know about it. I promised the fans and our roster that Hayes would get his comeuppance next show, when he'd defend against the winner of tonight's bout to determine the new #1 contender. The music of 'Super' Sam Bailey filled The Old Mill, and our former #1 contender marched to the ring. He was understandably furious at how he'd been screwed out of the GBW Title, especially having wrestled 3 times in one night to get there. Before I could answer, the Bhangra Knights hit the ring, also demanding justice and another chance for title gold. RJ Singh was furious at how Hayes' shenanigans had stopped him being our new champion. I announced the rematch between Bailey vs Cruz. The winner could cash in their shot whenever they liked. The Bhangra Knights, however, had already signed for the tag tournament tonight, so were out of the running. Tiger Ali and RJ Singh were not pleased, and swore to Hayes and the GBW fans they'd have their vengeance as soon as the Tag Titles were around their waists. Angle Rating: 35.



Angle: Tag Team Tournament Time

The time had come to get our inaugural Tag Team Tournament underway. The Bhangra Knights and the Dark Circus had accepted the call, keen to compete for a place in the history of Britain's least prestigious wrestling company. Unfortunately nobody else had volunteered. Keen not to let our 41 fans down I improvised, pulling the names of our remaining wrestlers out of a hat and pairing them together at random. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Angle Rating: 30.



vs

GBW Tag Title Tournament: The Bhangra Knights vs John 'Asylum' Doe & Sam Kutchner

The spectacular high-flying wrestling of RJ Singh and Tiger Ali was unfortunately offset by the piss-poor performance of Kutchner, who was seriously off his game tonight. Fortunately we had a wild card in Doe, who went about business in the same way as Godzilla went about Tokyo. The poor souls sharing a ring him (including Sam) didn't stand a chance. Bodies were flying everywhere. The Knights hit every high impact move in their repertoire, but Asylum just sat up like nothing happened. Ali and Singh got clever and took out the over-matched Kutchner, allowing them to double team Asylum. Somehow they managed a flash pinfall having thrown the kitchen sink at him, then ran for their lives. Doe was not pleased. Doe destroyed Kutchner. Then he went ringside and destroyed a security guard. And then he destroyed a camera man too, for good measure. It was fun, but it wasn't wrestling. The worst match in GBW's short history and we'd only just begun. Match Rating: 29.



Angle: Creepy Clowns

Our cameras cut to a creepy backstage area with two creepy clown people saying creepy clown things in a creepy promo. I hate clowns. Everyone hates clowns. They're creepy. Did I mention that already? Eddie Vega and his partner in creepy crime Jokey cut a promo that was frankly too creepy for a family-orientated show like ours, but I went with it anyway. This was the first of many promos that would genuinely chill our fans to their core. Angle Rating: 38.



vs

Tag Title Tournament: The Dark Circus vs 'Party Boy' Liam Slater & Timmy Force

Yikes.

The Dark Circus won, by the way. Liam Slater would turn out to be a perfectly solid if unspectacular wrestler. Eddie Vega can sort of string a decent match together. The less said about the other two, the better. After the bout, our haunted mimes laid out their opponents and painted their faces like dead clowns, just in case things weren't macabre enough already. Match Rating: 27.



Angle: This Is Blood

We then cut to a promo from earlier in the day where our announcer Ryan Devlin tried to interview the man known as 'Blood'. He blanked him, staring out of the window with his cold, dead, unblinking eyes. Devlin got very nervous very fast. Blood does that to people. Just being in his presence makes your skin feel cold, as if all the light and warmth is being sucked out of the room. His glare makes you shiver. Devlin kept on talking, but was met with a genuinely scary silence. When that didn't work he resorted to nervous jabbering. When the talking stopped, Blood suddenly gave Devlin a terrifying death stare. GBW's announcer ran for his life. Blood gave us he most memorable promo of the night and he didn't even say anything. Angle rating: 38.



vs

Tag Title Tournament: Sebastian & Earl Black Jr vs Lenny Kutchner & Blood

Our small rabble of fans were still lining up at the bar when this one started - that's my excuse for the total lack of heat, and I'm sticking to it. The silent atmosphere of a mausoleum greeted these four athletes, as they clumsily did battle in something vaguely resembling a wrestling match. Things took a turn when Kutchner accidentally knocked Blood off the ring apron into the guardrail. GBW's most haunting psychopath calmly gathered himself, dusted himself off, then picked up the ring bell and smashed Kutchener across the head with it, knocking him out instantly. He didn't even look back as he walked back up the ramp and through the curtain. Black Jr and Sebastian took advantage of the prone Kutchner for the win. Despite tonight being their first time together as a team, our match winners worked curiously well together. Match rating: 27.



Angle: Back For Blood

Our cameras cut to me confronting Blood backstage, demanding answers as to why he'd double crossed his partner Lenny Kutchner. "Who is that?" asked Blood vacantly. "Your partner!" I exclaimed. The dead, lifeless expression remained on his face. "I do not care for their names. They are all the same to me. I do not see people. I see empty shapes full of screams. Voids with no faces. Empty vessels full of pain. If one is taken, another is made. Rats in a sewer, all of them, crawling over each other like vermin, all squealing in the dark." His voice trailed off. I crept away, truly freaked out. Angle rating: 38.



vs

#1 Contenders Bout: Nathan Cruz vs 'Super' Sam Bailey.

In what was unquestionably the best of a poor bunch, two of our top athletes went to battle in a pretty solid match, picking up right where they left off last time. The fans really got behind this, sensing the bad blood between the two, who fought out of their skin to see who would get a title shot they could cash-in any time. It was evenly balanced, with Cruz targeting the legs of Bailey to stop him utilising his speed. Bailey was much fresher than last time, however, and still found ways of flattening his foe with superb high-flying maneuvers.

Suddenly The Old Mill filled with boos and jeers as World Champion Joey Hayes appeared from nowhere, sprang into the ring, and laid out Bailey with a running belt shot to the back of the head! There was a satisfying "klunk" noise as metal bounced off skull. Bailey was legitimately knocked out cold. Cruz was incensed at the interference and charged at Hayes, only to also receive a huge shot to the head from the title belt. The crowd threw coins and litter into the ring as our champion cockily took a bow, proud of his actions. Hayes clearly took great delight in messing up everyone's plans once again. He laughed out loud as the referee shoved him from the ring and began a 10 count. Both competitors were out cold, and our official John Myers had no choice but to render this match a Double KO draw! Cruz was the first to regain his senses, slid out the ring and gave chase to Hayes, but was too groggy to catch him as he escaped backstage. Bailey, still unconscious, had to be carried from the ring by the referee and our security team. GBW still had no #1 contender! Match rating: 38.



Angle: A New Alliance

Adding further to the confusion, Sebastian and Earl Black Jr then made their way to the ring. They were joined by Nathan Cruz, who had now recovered from the earlier assault. It was then that the fans noticed they were all wearing matching tights, had the same haircut and the same emblems on their clothes. The crowd began to boo, sensing bullshit was afoot. They were right. Sebastian, Black Jr and Cruz announced they'd agreed an alliance from the moment GBW was founded. They'd been working together for weeks, studying the opposition and making big plans for total domination of Great British Wrestling. The fact that Black Jr and Sebastian had been paired together was just a happy coincidence - they'd been a team long before the Tag Title Tournament was announced. The dastardly trio said they would destroy all in their path, and put out a warning to the rest of the GBW Roster. This as yet un-named stable would be a force to be reckoned with, as we were about to discover... Angle rating: 30.



vs vs

GBW Tag Title Tournament Final: 3 Way Dance To Crown The First Ever GBW Tag Team Champions. The Bhangra Knights vs The Dark Circus vs Sebastian & Earl Black Jr.

The fans were on their feet, excitedly anticipating an action-packed main event. I'd like to say we delivered. I'd like to say our first ever tag champions were crowned in legendary circumstances. In reality, this match never really took off. A damning lack of psychology and wrestling know-how turned what should've been a memorable finale into a clumsy spot-fest. The match needed a leader to keep control, but none was to be found. Vega and RJ Singh did a decent enough job and had their moments. Black Jr had some fun spots with his 'old school wrasslin'. The Dark Circus were eliminated first, which was probably an act of mercy given Jokey's piss-poor performance. But this whole main event was a mess.

One thing that did stay long in the memory, however, was the the ending. People were talking about this weeks after the event. Left alone in the ring against Singh and Ali, Sebastian was on the receiving end of a huge Missile Dropkick, followed immediately by a Somersault Plancha from the top rope. He was in trouble. He was done. The Knights were about to go in for the kill when suddenly Black Jr leaped to the ring apron and distracted referee John Myers. Behind the official's back, Nathan Cruz crept into the ring, dragged Sebastian out the way, before cheap-shotting Ali with a low blow. He then curled up the Asian superstar into a small package pin. Myers turned round and made the count. 1... 2... 3! We had new Tag Team Champions! The bell rang and the belts were handed to Black Jr and Sebastian, who celebrated wildly with their ally Cruz all the way up the ramp. You could forgive Myers for his mistake - Cruz was wearing identical wrestling attire to Sebastian, and in their curled-up position it was impossible to tell who was who. Our fans, however, were not so forgiving, shouting abuse at our unfortunate referee. They began pelting him with beers. The poor bastard screamed like a girl and ran for his life, as our second ever show ended once again in controversial circumstances. Match rating: 30.


Overall show rating: 29.


Last edited by dstephe4 : 09-08-2019 at 01:39 PM.
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  #35  
Unread 09-09-2019, 05:43 PM
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dstephe4 dstephe4 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EBEZA View Post
This should be fun to try to predict, with all the blank spaces! Let's have a crack!

The Dark Circus vs ???
"Party Boy" Liam Slater & Timmy Force. Timmy takes the fall.
Thank you to Ebeza and Electric X for playing the predictions game. Well done especially to Ebeza for the freakishly accurate prediction above.

Thanks also to anybody else quietly reading this fun but swanky little diary of mine. I'm having a blast writing it, and if I can pick up a small audience along the way, that's a bonus. Cheers everyone - Chapter 3 coming soon!
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  #36  
Unread 09-09-2019, 10:34 PM
Texasrangers13 Texasrangers13 is offline
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This is a fun read. Love diaries that push people you don't necessarily know as much. Keep it up.
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  #37  
Unread 09-10-2019, 05:00 AM
EBEZA EBEZA is offline
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Originally Posted by dstephe4 View Post
Well done especially to Ebeza for the freakishly accurate prediction above.

Loved the show, and the ending! Interesting having Hayes and Cruz get heat, when both are heel. I assume Triple Threat coming up...

Also, you said Bailey was "legitimately" knocked out - was this an actual thing? Like, he picked up a concussion or something?
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  #38  
Unread 09-10-2019, 05:08 AM
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dstephe4 dstephe4 is offline
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Originally Posted by EBEZA View Post
Loved the show, and the ending! Interesting having Hayes and Cruz get heat, when both are heel. I assume Triple Threat coming up...

Also, you said Bailey was "legitimately" knocked out - was this an actual thing? Like, he picked up a concussion or something?
Bailey was pissed at Cruz for botching a spot and was out for a couple of weeks with a concussion. They have heat now. I changed it so it was Hayes instead as it suited my diary better. I'm 50/50 as to whether to milk it for the next show.

Loving the giant gif btw, and thank you for the kind words.
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  #39  
Unread 09-10-2019, 05:37 AM
EBEZA EBEZA is offline
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Ouch! Hopefully they'll still be able to work together...
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  #40  
Unread 09-10-2019, 02:23 PM
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Default The One With A Rogue Asian







I felt a little bad for having turned down their request for food earlier, so I arranged for a couple of kegs of beer to be put in the wrestler's locker room after the show. Unfortunately our show sucked, in my eyes anyway, so I made sure the beer was Newcastle Brown. Overseas readers might be unfamiliar with that particular brew, so let me describe it to you. Imagine if someone were to scrape the tar from inside a smoker's lungs and make it alcoholic. Water the mix down with hot piss and you have something near to this unique taste experience. The guys loved it and the drinks started flowing right away. They wouldn't be so giddy the next morning when they were shitting fireworks and their burps tasted like their farts.

I left them to it and got on with editing tonight's footage to stream online. It wouldn't be easy to make tonight's car crash of a show look decent, but it wouldn't be the last time I'd have to polish a turd. The reviews for our second show would be favourable, especially for "a company of our size". The fans liked it but the crowds in Leigh aren't exactly wrestling experts - they'd think NJPW was an STD.

My standards were much higher than the warm plate of crap GBW served up that night. Unfortunately with zero budget and even less prestige, we'd have to make do with what we had. It wasn't as if we could afford better. It wasn't as if the phone was ringing off the hook with offers. Our first show had been good because only the best athletes on our roster were involved. The 2nd show had our whole roster, and our lack of depth in talent was alarming. But that's what you get when you pick your stars based on YouTube clips, Google Image Search, the flip of a coin, or eeny-meeny-miney-mo. My mission was to somehow turn these turds into diamonds before all my money ran out.

An hour or two passed. The locker room got louder and rowdier with each passing minute. Suddenly there was a knock at my door. I chugged another big gulp of champagne, gargled it, then spat it out like mouthwash. The massive frame of John 'Asylum' Doe then entered the room. I still couldn't remember his real name.

Doe: So tonight was pretty special, huh?

He slurred as he talked. So did I. We both did our best to hide it. Neither of us succeeded.

Me: Special as in... retarded? You're right. Last month's show was way better.

Doe: To be honest, things were really chaotic out there today. Half the guys didn't really know what to do. Some panicked and forgot the basics. Some were just too inexperienced to know any better. It really lacked somebody in the background pulling the strings. You need a road agent.

It's hard enough understanding Doe as the best of times. Even harder when he insisted on wearing his Halloween mask. Nearly impossible when he was hammered. I wondered how he'd managed to slug down so much booze without taking his mask off. Maybe he used a straw.

Me: What's a Rogue Asian? Sounds sexy.

GBW's resident monster slapped his head in frustration.

Doe: No, dumbass. A road agent! Someone to manage the wrestlers and keep things in line. An experienced voice in the locker-room to keep control of the show.

I pulled a face like I'd just swallowed a wasp.

Me: Sounds expensive. I'm allergic to expensive.

Doe: Look, if you want this fed to work, you can't go on without one. You don't even need someone too fancy for a company this size. Besides, I know the perfect guy. He's been around the block, he's well-respected, he takes no crap, and he's cheap.

The last part made me sit up and take notice. I don't remember the rest of what was said, but within a couple of weeks Great British Wrestling had it's first ever road agent. And what an adventure that turned out to be.

Suddenly some silly sod in the locker room unleashed a guitar. The worst show in GBWs early history quickly turned into the worst sing-along in musical history. I'm pretty sure Cat Stevens is still turning in his grave to this very day. I took that as my cue to leave before my ears started to bleed.

Thanks everyone for reading. Chapter 3 coming soon(ish).

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  #41  
Unread 09-11-2019, 05:04 AM
EBEZA EBEZA is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dstephe4 View Post
Imagine if someone were to scrape the tar from inside a smoker's lungs and make it alcoholic. Water the mix down with hot piss and you have something near to this unique taste experience. The guys loved it and the drinks started flowing right away. They wouldn't be so giddy the next morning when they were shitting fireworks and their burps tasted like their farts.
Having never tried Newky Brown, and not drank in over eight years so likely never will, I'm disappointed I never got this experience!

Quote:
Originally Posted by dstephe4 View Post
The fans liked it but the crowds in Leigh aren't exactly wrestling experts - they'd think NJPW was an STD.
Has Leigh ever had a live wrestling show, IRL?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dstephe4 View Post
Me: What's a Rogue Asian? Sounds sexy.
Brilliant.
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  #42  
Unread 09-11-2019, 02:35 PM
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Default The One With 2 Clowns, 1 Psychopath, 1 Party Animal, 1 Injury, 2 Bhangras & 3 Cheats







After last month's show everybody was very excited, but nobody had any idea what the hell was going on.

We had new Tag Team Champions after Nathan Cruz helped Sebastian and Earl Black Jr cheat their way to a tournament win. Their as yet un-named faction was going to make waves, but there would be hell to pay for the manner of their victory. We also still had no #1 contender after our world champion Joey Hayes callously knocked out both competitors with the title belt before running like a coward. You could kind of understand his warped logic - by keeping the #1 contender spot empty he could remain champion indefinitely. But with half the GBW roster and every GBW fan screaming for his blood, the champion had a massive target on his back.

With so many things left unknown, we looked to Chapter 3 to hopefully provide some answers...



vs

The Dark Circus vs ??? - An Open Challenge

The blood-chilling clowns known as The Dark Circus were enraged after failing to win the Tag Team Titles last month. They decided to take out their anger upon the GBW roster. Taking to Social Media, they issued an Open Challenge to anyone in Great British Wrestling brave enough or foolish enough to face them in the ring. Who would step up and fight this demented duo?



vs

'Party Boy' Liam Slater vs Blood

Both wrestlers had mixed fortunes in GBW's first two months, and both had a huge amount to prove. In Chapter 3 they would square off in what many expected to be a solid, technically proficient exhibition of wrestling. The winner would recover momentum and move upward in the echelons of our roster. The loser would be forced to regroup and begin the long climb back towards the top. A 50/50 battle if ever there was one, with our online following split in choosing the winner.



vs

#1 Contenders Match: Nathan Cruz vs 'Super' Sam Bailey

Having stolen the show last month, both competitors were furious to have all their hard work snubbed out by 'Arsehole Of The Year' Joey Hayes. (The fans picked that label. It trended for a little while on Twitter, which amused me greatly.) Bailey in particular had reason to be mad, having been completely knocked out cold with the very World Title belt he was trying so hard to win. A rematch was called for, but whether 'Super' Sam would be medically fit to fight remained to be seen. The fans were excited and hoping to see these two face off again, but there was speculation about what could be done to prevent Joey Hayes from ruining everyone's plans once again.



vs

Tag Title Tournament Final Rematch: The Bhangra Knights vs Sebastian & Earl Black Jr - For The Tag Team Championship

On paper the team of Black Jr and Sebastian were our new Tag Team Champions. But the manner of victory - with Nathan Cruz somehow getting the pinfall win in a match he wasn't even involved in - caused uproar. The finish was a travesty and everybody knew it. A rematch was the only way to restore justice and set things right. Fan favourites the Bhangra Knights were desperate for retribution, but the new champions had more than a few clever tricks up their sleeves - especially with Nathan Cruz watching their back.


Who would emerge victorious? Would wrongs be righted in Chapter 3? Stay tuned to find out - results and all the other quirky goodness coming soon. Predictions always welcome.



Quote:
Originally Posted by EBEZA View Post
Having never tried Newky Brown, and not drank in over eight years so likely never will, I'm disappointed I never got this experience!

Has Leigh ever had a live wrestling show, IRL?
I used to enjoy drinking the stuff when I was already hammered. Then one time I was sober waiting in line at a store where someone dropped a bottle of Newcastle Brown and smashed it on the floor. The smell made me puke into my mouth and made my eyes water. From that day I've never let another drop cross my lips. Even typing about it makes my stomach acid dance.

As for whether there's ever been wrestling in Leigh - I saw posters for a show once, a few years ago. Whether it actually went ahead, or whether anybody showed up, is unknown. Any sport other than Rugby League is spat upon in Leigh. Knowing the people there I wouldn't be surprised if the wrestlers got burned alive Wicker Man style.


Quote:
Originally Posted by EBEZA View Post
Ouch! Hopefully they'll still be able to work together...
They work together or they don't get paid.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Texasrangers13 View Post
This is a fun read. Love diaries that push people you don't necessarily know as much. Keep it up.
Thanks very much for taking the time to read this and for commenting. Really glad to see people enjoying this.


Last edited by dstephe4 : 09-12-2019 at 05:39 AM.
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  #43  
Unread 09-11-2019, 02:43 PM
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Bigelow Cartwheel Bigelow Cartwheel is offline
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You had me at 2 clowns...
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  #44  
Unread 09-11-2019, 02:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Bigelow Cartwheel View Post
You had me at 2 clowns...
Your (magnificent) dynasty also has a clown in it - I like that we have that in common. I bet your clown had higher stats than Jokey.
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  #45  
Unread 09-11-2019, 04:38 PM
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The Dark Circus vs. The Kutchers
Liam Slater vs. Blood
Nathan Cruz vs. Sam Bailey
Bhangara Knights vs. Sebastian & Earl Black Jr
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