The One With A Case Of Mistaken Identity
Show held at The Old Mill in Leigh, Thursday Week 3, August 2019. Attendance: 41.
Angle: Too Hot For Hayes
After kicking off our show with the most spectacular indoor firework display that eBay could provide, we had a video recap showing how our new champion Joey Hayes had screwed over Sam Bailey, Nathan Cruz, RJ Singh, me and all the GBW fans on his way to the gold. Not bad for one night's work. The face of Hayes then filled our screens. He announced he was in hiding, as he was the most hated man in GBW, and public enemy #1. He declared he'd only emerge when his next opponent was announced. Until there was a certified, bona fide #1 contender, he said it was too dangerous to set foot at a GBW event. He informed us of this via video link from a secure, far away, undisclosed location. Angle Rating: 35.
Angle: The Contenders
I was angry at the way the inaugural GBW championship was won, and I took to the mic to let everyone know about it. I promised the fans and our roster that Hayes would get his comeuppance next show, when he'd defend against the winner of tonight's bout to determine the new #1 contender. The music of 'Super' Sam Bailey filled The Old Mill, and our former #1 contender marched to the ring. He was understandably furious at how he'd been screwed out of the GBW Title, especially having wrestled 3 times in one night to get there. Before I could answer, the Bhangra Knights hit the ring, also demanding justice and another chance for title gold. RJ Singh was furious at how Hayes' shenanigans had stopped him being our new champion. I announced the rematch between Bailey vs Cruz. The winner could cash in their shot whenever they liked. The Bhangra Knights, however, had already signed for the tag tournament tonight, so were out of the running. Tiger Ali and RJ Singh were not pleased, and swore to Hayes and the GBW fans they'd have their vengeance as soon as the Tag Titles were around their waists. Angle Rating: 35.
Angle: Tag Team Tournament Time
The time had come to get our inaugural Tag Team Tournament underway. The Bhangra Knights and the Dark Circus had accepted the call, keen to compete for a place in the history of Britain's least prestigious wrestling company. Unfortunately nobody else had volunteered. Keen not to let our 41 fans down I improvised, pulling the names of our remaining wrestlers out of a hat and pairing them together at random. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Angle Rating: 30.
GBW Tag Title Tournament: The Bhangra Knights vs John 'Asylum' Doe & Sam Kutchner
The spectacular high-flying wrestling of RJ Singh and Tiger Ali was unfortunately offset by the piss-poor performance of Kutchner, who was seriously off his game tonight. Fortunately we had a wild card in Doe, who went about business in the same way as Godzilla went about Tokyo. The poor souls sharing a ring him (including Sam) didn't stand a chance. Bodies were flying everywhere. The Knights hit every high impact move in their repertoire, but Asylum just sat up like nothing happened. Ali and Singh got clever and took out the over-matched Kutchner, allowing them to double team Asylum. Somehow they managed a flash pinfall having thrown the kitchen sink at him, then ran for their lives. Doe was not pleased. Doe destroyed Kutchner. Then he went ringside and destroyed a security guard. And then he destroyed a camera man too, for good measure. It was fun, but it wasn't wrestling. The worst match in GBW's short history and we'd only just begun. Match Rating: 29.
Angle: Creepy Clowns
Our cameras cut to a creepy backstage area with two creepy clown people saying creepy clown things in a creepy promo. I hate clowns. Everyone hates clowns. They're creepy. Did I mention that already? Eddie Vega and his partner in creepy crime Jokey cut a promo that was frankly too creepy for a family-orientated show like ours, but I went with it anyway. This was the first of many promos that would genuinely chill our fans to their core. Angle Rating: 38.
Tag Title Tournament: The Dark Circus vs 'Party Boy' Liam Slater & Timmy Force
The Dark Circus won, by the way. Liam Slater would turn out to be a perfectly solid if unspectacular wrestler. Eddie Vega can sort of string a decent match together. The less said about the other two, the better. After the bout, our haunted mimes laid out their opponents and painted their faces like dead clowns, just in case things weren't macabre enough already. Match Rating: 27.
Angle: This Is Blood
We then cut to a promo from earlier in the day where our announcer Ryan Devlin tried to interview the man known as 'Blood'. He blanked him, staring out of the window with his cold, dead, unblinking eyes. Devlin got very nervous very fast. Blood does that to people. Just being in his presence makes your skin feel cold, as if all the light and warmth is being sucked out of the room. His glare makes you shiver. Devlin kept on talking, but was met with a genuinely scary silence. When that didn't work he resorted to nervous jabbering. When the talking stopped, Blood suddenly gave Devlin a terrifying death stare. GBW's announcer ran for his life. Blood gave us he most memorable promo of the night and he didn't even say anything. Angle rating: 38.
Tag Title Tournament: Sebastian & Earl Black Jr vs Lenny Kutchner & Blood
Our small rabble of fans were still lining up at the bar when this one started - that's my excuse for the total lack of heat, and I'm sticking to it. The silent atmosphere of a mausoleum greeted these four athletes, as they clumsily did battle in something vaguely resembling a wrestling match. Things took a turn when Kutchner accidentally knocked Blood off the ring apron into the guardrail. GBW's most haunting psychopath calmly gathered himself, dusted himself off, then picked up the ring bell and smashed Kutchener across the head with it, knocking him out instantly. He didn't even look back as he walked back up the ramp and through the curtain. Black Jr and Sebastian took advantage of the prone Kutchner for the win. Despite tonight being their first time together as a team, our match winners worked curiously well together. Match rating: 27.
Angle: Back For Blood
Our cameras cut to me confronting Blood backstage, demanding answers as to why he'd double crossed his partner Lenny Kutchner. "Who is that?" asked Blood vacantly. "Your partner!" I exclaimed. The dead, lifeless expression remained on his face. "I do not care for their names. They are all the same to me. I do not see people. I see empty shapes full of screams. Voids with no faces. Empty vessels full of pain. If one is taken, another is made. Rats in a sewer, all of them, crawling over each other like vermin, all squealing in the dark." His voice trailed off. I crept away, truly freaked out. Angle rating: 38.
#1 Contenders Bout: Nathan Cruz vs 'Super' Sam Bailey.
In what was unquestionably the best of a poor bunch, two of our top athletes went to battle in a pretty solid match, picking up right where they left off last time. The fans really got behind this, sensing the bad blood between the two, who fought out of their skin to see who would get a title shot they could cash-in any time. It was evenly balanced, with Cruz targeting the legs of Bailey to stop him utilising his speed. Bailey was much fresher than last time, however, and still found ways of flattening his foe with superb high-flying maneuvers.
Suddenly The Old Mill filled with boos and jeers as World Champion Joey Hayes appeared from nowhere, sprang into the ring, and laid out Bailey with a running belt shot to the back of the head! There was a satisfying "klunk" noise as metal bounced off skull. Bailey was legitimately knocked out cold. Cruz was incensed at the interference and charged at Hayes, only to also receive a huge shot to the head from the title belt. The crowd threw coins and litter into the ring as our champion cockily took a bow, proud of his actions. Hayes clearly took great delight in messing up everyone's plans once again. He laughed out loud as the referee shoved him from the ring and began a 10 count. Both competitors were out cold, and our official John Myers had no choice but to render this match a Double KO draw! Cruz was the first to regain his senses, slid out the ring and gave chase to Hayes, but was too groggy to catch him as he escaped backstage. Bailey, still unconscious, had to be carried from the ring by the referee and our security team. GBW still had no #1 contender! Match rating: 38.
Angle: A New Alliance
Adding further to the confusion, Sebastian and Earl Black Jr then made their way to the ring. They were joined by Nathan Cruz, who had now recovered from the earlier assault. It was then that the fans noticed they were all wearing matching tights, had the same haircut and the same emblems on their clothes. The crowd began to boo, sensing bullshit was afoot. They were right. Sebastian, Black Jr and Cruz announced they'd agreed an alliance from the moment GBW was founded. They'd been working together for weeks, studying the opposition and making big plans for total domination of Great British Wrestling. The fact that Black Jr and Sebastian had been paired together was just a happy coincidence - they'd been a team long before the Tag Title Tournament was announced. The dastardly trio said they would destroy all in their path, and put out a warning to the rest of the GBW Roster. This as yet un-named stable would be a force to be reckoned with, as we were about to discover... Angle rating: 30.
GBW Tag Title Tournament Final: 3 Way Dance To Crown The First Ever GBW Tag Team Champions. The Bhangra Knights vs The Dark Circus vs Sebastian & Earl Black Jr.
The fans were on their feet, excitedly anticipating an action-packed main event. I'd like to say we delivered. I'd like to say our first ever tag champions were crowned in legendary circumstances. In reality, this match never really took off. A damning lack of psychology and wrestling know-how turned what should've been a memorable finale into a clumsy spot-fest. The match needed a leader to keep control, but none was to be found. Vega and RJ Singh did a decent enough job and had their moments. Black Jr had some fun spots with his 'old school wrasslin'. The Dark Circus were eliminated first, which was probably an act of mercy given Jokey's piss-poor performance. But this whole main event was a mess.
One thing that did stay long in the memory, however, was the the ending. People were talking about this weeks after the event. Left alone in the ring against Singh and Ali, Sebastian was on the receiving end of a huge Missile Dropkick, followed immediately by a Somersault Plancha from the top rope. He was in trouble. He was done. The Knights were about to go in for the kill when suddenly Black Jr leaped to the ring apron and distracted referee John Myers. Behind the official's back, Nathan Cruz crept into the ring, dragged Sebastian out the way, before cheap-shotting Ali with a low blow. He then curled up the Asian superstar into a small package pin. Myers turned round and made the count. 1... 2... 3! We had new Tag Team Champions! The bell rang and the belts were handed to Black Jr and Sebastian, who celebrated wildly with their ally Cruz all the way up the ramp. You could forgive Myers for his mistake - Cruz was wearing identical wrestling attire to Sebastian, and in their curled-up position it was impossible to tell who was who. Our fans, however, were not so forgiving, shouting abuse at our unfortunate referee. They began pelting him with beers. The poor bastard screamed like a girl and ran for his life, as our second ever show ended once again in controversial circumstances. Match rating: 30.
Overall show rating: 29.
Last edited by dstephe4 : 09-08-2019 at 01:39 PM.