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  #106  
Unread 02-06-2020, 02:10 AM
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joshbrady91 joshbrady91 is offline
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Originally Posted by ElectricX View Post
Another good show for GBW.
I second that. Also, awesome avatar, I'm a huge Edgehead.
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  #107  
Unread 02-06-2020, 03:50 AM
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Bigelow Cartwheel Bigelow Cartwheel is offline
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"Rayne came crashing through our announcer's table, his ample frame almost crushing me to death in a cloud of wood splinters, sweat and Old Spice aftershave."

Ha ha ha. Excellent.

Another good show man. So if your company relationship with PCW has gone sour does that mean Rayne is off limits now? Have I read that right? Or is that just narrative for the diary? Sucks if it's curtailed the feud.

Also, buying into the pie reference, how do you know when a girl from Leigh has had an orgasm? She drops her pie.

Heh.
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  #108  
Unread 02-06-2020, 12:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElectricX View Post
Another good show for GBW.
Thank you! Glad you liked it. The next chapter is planned out, so hopefully it won't be a long wait for the results. Thanks for reading.


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Originally Posted by joshbrady91 View Post
I second that. Also, awesome avatar, I'm a huge Edgehead.
Thanks! And who isn't a huge Edgehead?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigelow Cartwheel View Post
"Rayne came crashing through our announcer's table, his ample frame almost crushing me to death in a cloud of wood splinters, sweat and Old Spice aftershave."

Ha ha ha. Excellent.

Another good show man. So if your company relationship with PCW has gone sour does that mean Rayne is off limits now? Have I read that right? Or is that just narrative for the diary? Sucks if it's curtailed the feud.

Also, buying into the pie reference, how do you know when a girl from Leigh has had an orgasm? She drops her pie.

Heh.
With PCW being a much larger local rival I always wanted a war to make things a little more spicy. Then I realised the mod I'm using didn't have PCW in it, so I added them via the editor. I made their owner Steven Fludder hate me too, just for kicks. They're coming after my talent already. Should prove interesting. Rayne is done with us, for now at least. Unless Fludder falls out with him too, then we'd have him back with open arms.

As for the pie-dropping orgasms, I heard that joke too lol Love seeing it posted online in an international forum like this.

Is everyone in this thread British? Post your nations, people! Where's everyone reading from?
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  #109  
Unread 02-07-2020, 02:36 PM
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Default The One With A Higher Than Necessary Level Of Tension







We should've been celebrating. We should've been partying. There should have been music and song and laughter in the air. Chapter 7 had been a good show, by our standards at least. Our biggest ever crowd. Tag Team Champions crowned at last. So much to be happy about. Yet the air was filled with a morbid silence. All of us stood quietly in the locker room, unsure of what to do or say.

After Joey Hayes had told me about PCW stealing a member of our roster, I hadn't wanted to believe it. But about a week later I got a voicemail from PCW supremo and diabolical mastermind Steven Fludder himself. Through all the evil laughter and swearing, he confirmed my worst fears; he had his hooks in one of us. He had signed one of my workers but wouldn't say who. One of my people had betrayed me, and the knowledge of this burned at me like acid.

It was with Fludder's voice still ringing in my ears that I looked among them all, trying to figure out who would never step foot in GBW again, while trying not to let on that I was spooked. I was sweating, dizzy with the weight of it all on my mind. As soon as Chapter 7 had finished, everyone knew what to do. Without anybody saying anything we all gathered in that cold, dirty old changing room in The Old Mill, waiting to see the face of the snake among us. We wouldn't be kept in suspense long.

Suddenly the door was kicked clean off it's hinges. The noise made us all jump with fright and surprise. Through a cloud of dust stepped a mysterious, shadowy figure. This was them. The one. The venomous serpent who had betrayed us all in favour of PCWs pieces of silver. I held my breath, wondering who this Judas could be. Nobody moved a muscle as the smoke began to clear. It was the greatest, most dramatic entrance in British wrestling history - and not a single GBW fan got to see it. Typical.

There was a collective gasp as we finally saw the face of the one who'd turned their back on us. I don't think even the smartest among us could've figured it out. I had to rub my eyes to make sure I wasn't seeing things. The one who had screwed us over was....

To be continued.

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  #110  
Unread 02-12-2020, 02:26 PM
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Default The One With A Large Australian And An Even Larger Austrian







With newly crowned Tag Team Champions finally in place, and with GBW's triumphant victory over the PCW World Champion still fresh in the memory, we raced into Chapter 8 with momentum on our side. So what if I'd slashed and burned our whole Tag Division in the process? I was determined to keep on marching forward...





The Bhangra Knights vs 'Party Boy' Liam Slater & ??? - For The GBW Tag Team Titles

The 'Bhangra Boys' were keen to defend their Tag Titles right away, given the time it'd taken them to finally get their hands on the gold. I was happy to oblige, asking for volunteers to face the new champs. Sam Bailey and Liam Slater wanted the shot. I vetoed that right away - they lost last time, and so lost the right to ever team again. So I declared it would be the Knights vs Slater and a mystery partner. But who would step up to the challenge?





New Blood - The Rematch: 'Aussie' Mark Davis vs Nathan Cruz vs Blood.

If Davis loses, he's gone from GBW forever. If Cruz loses he can't fight for any title for all of 2020. If Blood loses, he's fired!


There was always going to be a rematch - the fans wouldn't have it any other way. At Chapter 7 is was Nathan Cruz vs Mark Davis... and somehow Blood won, despite not even being in the match. Davis lost the place in GBW he would've won as part of the New Blood Series. Nathan Cruz lost the #1 Contenders shot he'd successfully defended throughout the company's young history. And the psychotic Blood had been suspended (again) for allowing his as yet un-named ally to interfere in the bout. The rematch was made as soon as Chapter 7 went off-air. An extremely high-stakes bout, in which two of the three competitors could potentially never, ever step foot in GBW again.





New Blood Series - 'Big Daddy' Walter vs John 'Asylum' Doe - The Clash Of The Giants

After causing all kinds of chaos and destruction, I wanted to see if anybody could tame GBW's monster. If anyone could bring him under control it would surely be Austria's Big Daddy Walter - one of the best giants in Europe. As part of our New Blood Series, a permanent place in GBW was available if Walter won. If Doe were to somehow topple this unstoppable force, the unthinkable would happen... the monster Asylum fighting for the GBW World Title at our next show!





Joey Hayes vs ??? - For The GBW World Title

Perhaps it was the way he screwed everyone over in Chapter 1, breaking every rule to win the GBW World Title. Perhaps it was his constant insults to the fans, all of whom hate his guts and despise every moment he holds the belt. Perhaps it was the way he treated GBW as his own little kingdom, looking down on the rest of the roster and staff like peasants.

Whatever the reason, Hayes had gotten under my skin. He'd demanded to know who his opponent would be well in advance of the show so he could devise a battle-plan. It was for this reason I'd decided to make his opponent's identity a mystery - just to piss him off. Who would be next in line to face the GBW Champ? Would Singh or Bailey get another shot at the revenge they craved so badly? Or would a new contender rise from within our ranks to take their shot at glory?


This one was fun. Can't wait to bring the results to you, along with 2 important bits of narrative, and a whole smorgasbord of other crap I have up my sleeve. As always, thanks for following the diary. Will be back in a few days with more...



Last edited by dstephe4 : 03-26-2020 at 03:08 PM.
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  #111  
Unread 02-12-2020, 04:09 PM
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The Bhangra Knights vs 'Party Boy' Liam Slater & ??? - For The GBW Tag Team Titles

New Blood - The Rematch: 'Aussie' Mark Davis vs Nathan Cruz vs Blood.

New Blood Series - 'Big Daddy' Walter vs John 'Asylum' Doe - The Clash Of The Giants

Joey Hayes vs ??? - For The GBW World Title
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  #112  
Unread 02-13-2020, 02:29 AM
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The Bhangra Knights vs 'Party Boy' Liam Slater & ??? - For The GBW Tag Team Titles
New Blood - The Rematch: 'Aussie' Mark Davis vs Nathan Cruz vs Blood.
New Blood Series - 'Big Daddy' Walter vs John 'Asylum' Doe - The Clash Of The Giants
Joey Hayes vs ??? - For The GBW World Title
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  #113  
Unread 02-13-2020, 05:05 AM
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The Bhangra Knights vs 'Party Boy' Liam Slater & ??? - For The GBW Tag Team Titles

New Blood - The Rematch: 'Aussie' Mark Davis vs Nathan Cruz vs Blood.

New Blood Series - 'Big Daddy' Walter vs John 'Asylum' Doe - The Clash Of The Giants

Joey Hayes vs ??? - For The GBW World Title
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  #114  
Unread 02-14-2020, 10:42 AM
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Default The One Where The Author Points Out That Segregating Women In Wrestling Is Bullshit







Nathan Cruz, locker-room representative of GBW and owner of the whitest teeth in all recorded history, was stood in my office. I put my sunglasses on so I wouldn't be blinded by his smile, and gestured for him to take a seat. Whatever he was about to say was going to piss me off, I could feel it in my bones. He had bad news. But rather than getting straight to the point, he decided to break the ice with a little chit-chat first.

Cruz: "I can't believe PCW stole one of the guys. What a situation that was, huh?"

Marx (Me): "What? Who? When did that happen?!"

He studied my face, trying to tell whether I was messing with him or not. I wasn't.

Cruz: "After last month's show. Fludder stole one of your workers. The tension was immense. It was a really big deal. I nearly had a heart attack from all the anxiety of wondering who it was going to be."

Marx: "What? We've lost somebody? I feel like I'd remember something like that. It sounds really important."

Cruz: "Do you have dementia or something? Has all that alcohol damaged your brain? How do you not remember this?"

I didn't know what to say. I made a weird face and shrugged.



Cruz: "This is a joke, surely?! After Chapter 7 the whole roster was gathered in the locker room, waiting to see who'd been lured away to Preston City Wrestling. The door was kicked open. There was smoke and a grand unveiling. It was really, really dramatic. I am genuinely perplexed that you don't remember all this."

My baffled, clueless expression did nothing to improve the mood of the man in front of me.

Cruz: "You spent days, weeks even, speculating who would be leaving! You built it up so much! We were all on the edge of our seats, desperate to find out who it was! And now, after all that, it means nothing to you?!"

Marx: "It can't have been that big of a deal, surely? Otherwise I'd remember it?"

Cruz: "It WAS a big deal! That bastard Kutchener turned his back on you! He stabbed you in the back!"

I burst out laughing. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I laughed so hard I felt dizzy and a snot bubble popped out of my nose.

Marx: "Let me get this straight. That snake Steven Fludder declared war on us by trying to raid our talent pool, although I use that term loosely. And out of all the names in GBW, the only one he could lure away was Lenny God-damned Kutchener?!"

Cruz: "Look, I recorded the whole thing."

Sure enough, he had. He took his phone out of his jacket pocket and played me the video. There he was, the man who portrayed the three 'Kutchener brothers' and had never won a match, making his big angry speech and airing all his frustrations...

Kutchener: "Why'd you have to feed me to Asylum?! Why'd you have me pretend to be 3 different brothers just so you could make me wrestle on multiple matches, you cheap-ass?!"

The pissed off jobber was red with rage and almost frothing at the mouth with fury.

Kutchener: "You lousy bastard, Marx! You couldn't even get my name right! It's not 'Kutchener' or 'Kutchner', it's Kutchens! I did not go to wrestling school for 4 years just to be mis-treated by clueless, mindless, no-hope wannabes like you! I did not wrestle in 7 different countries just to come to Great Shittish Wrestling and go months without landing a single offensive move, let alone a single victory! I'm an artist, damn it! Not a piece of meat!"

It was quite the tirade. He'd been planning this epic speech for a long time.

Kutchens: "Steven Fludder showed me the respect you never did! I couldn't wait to say yes to him, and get away from this rotting shithole of a company! PCW will make me a world champion! I'll be headlining WWE in no time! Just you wait!"

He stormed out. The video ended. I burst out laughing again. Cruz still had his serious face on though.

Cruz: "This isn't funny. I used to wrestle for PCW. I know what Fludder's like. He won't ever stop. Kutchens won't be the only one to be tempted. There'll be more and more lured away. He won't stop until GBW is dead and buried. He's not somebody you want as an enemy."

Marx: "Screw Kutchens. Screw Fludder. Screw them both. I'm not scared. PCW won't be the only big company that'll come after GBW talent once we grow and people start taking notice. Anyway, that's not what you came here to talk to me about, is it?"

The Kutchens situation was an interesting distraction, but Cruz had bigger fish to fry. He was worried about something. Even his sparkling white teeth looked sad and dull in that scowling face of his.

Cruz: "Look, I was hoping I wouldn't have to say this. But the whole locker room is worried about Jokey."

Marx: "Oh no, she's not threatening to staple Timmy Force's dick to his leg again is she?!"

Cruz: "What? No, nothing like that. This is an awkward situation really. Everyone thinks it's great that you've got a female fighting amongst the guys. Having integrated women's wrestling is way ahead of the curve, especially here in the UK. And we wouldn't ever want to stop that..."

He was avoiding eye contact now, staring down at the floor as he spoke. It wasn't like him to be sheepish like this. I watched him carefully as he continued.

Cruz: "A problem's been brewing since day one, to be honest. But nobody's dared to say anything about it because we're all men and she's the only lady on the whole roster. The lads are worried that if they speak up they'll look sexist or something. We're not the discriminating kind at all. It's just..."

His words were failing him. The normally condident, articulate Cruz was definitely out of sorts.

Marx: "It's nothing to do with the time she threatened to superglue Sam Bailey's eyes open if he fell asleep again during a booking meeting, is it?"

Cruz: "No... it's... she's dangerous, Jonny."

Marx: "I'd say so. I still reckon it was her who left that footprint on Joey Hayes's nuts."

Cruz: "I mean she's dangerous in the ring. As in dangerously under-trained. I don't know what the wrestling schools in Italy are like, but Jokey is terrible. Just terrible. She nearly broke Earl Black's ribs in that tag match last time. She nearly dislocated a guy's shoulder the month before. She's a liability. It's only a matter of time before she seriously injures someone. It's getting to the point where the guys are worried about even getting in the ring with her."

A moment of stunned silence followed. I honestly didn't know how to handle this. If I didn't do something about Jokey, the male members of the roster would mutiny. It'd send the message that I didn't care about their safety. Wrestling is such a dangerous industry - if word got out that I didn't take my worker's health seriously, it'd be poison for our reputation. I'd be pushing my talent right into the hands of Fludder and his ilk. We were already the least glamorous, least prestigious fed in Britain. We honestly couldn't afford to take a hit like that.

But the online community had really got behind Jokey. Despite a near total absence of ability, the female members of our online following had taken to her like a hero. They loved seeing her fighting as an equal. Like Nathan said, throwing Jokey into the mix with the guys had made us seen modern and innovative. The way women have been treated throughout wrestling history is absolute bullshit, and I'd wanted to distance my company as far as possible from that sexist crap.

One decision would alienate half the locker-room. The other decision would alienate half our fan-base. I was staring at a lose/lose situation with no easy answer in sight. GBW had marched from one dilemma to another. The PCW situation and the Jokey situation would give me sleepless nights for weeks.

I look back on days like that and it's easy to see why I'm bald now. Little did I know this was only the beginning.


Last edited by dstephe4 : 03-26-2020 at 03:05 PM.
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  #115  
Unread 02-15-2020, 05:38 PM
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Bhangra Knights
Davis
WALTER
???
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  #116  
Unread 02-19-2020, 02:27 PM
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Default The One With An Italian, An Australian, And A Whole Lot Of Hayes








Show held at The Old Mill in Leigh, Thursday Week 3, February 2020. Attendance: 65.



Angle: Video Time.

We began the show with a nice video package made by our slave-wage army of students. They were like the Minions to my Gru, keeping this crazy operation going behind the scenes. In retrospect, I never thanked them enough - not because I'm selfish, but because their body odour frightened me.

But I digress. The video highlighted GBW finally crowning Tag Team Champions in the Bhangra Knights, in a match that saw every other team in the division disbanded. The Dark Circus? Never to wrestle together again. The Prestige? The days of Sebastian and Black Jr teaming were over. Bailey and Slater? Never again. There would be huge repercussions to such drastic actions, and our fans were excited to see more. They wouldn't have to wait long. Angle rating: 45.


Angle: An Expensive Waste Of Furniture.

We cut to me in my office backstage at our Old Mill venue. There I was in my fake Armani suit. The boss, doing boss-type things. Suddenly the peace was broken by the Dark Circus kicking down my door. GBW's own deranged clown division confronted me, demanding I reinstate them as a tag team. I thought clowns were meant to make people laugh, but these two were making me shit my pants. Before I could answer, The Prestige barged in, their leader Nathan Cruz demanding that Black Jr and Sebastian be reinstalled as an official GBW tag team. He was so pissed he'd forgotten to have his teeth whitened. I gulped down the fear, put on my 'brave man' face, and said "no" to both. This upset them. My words had all the raw menace and authority of Pee Wee Herman. In the absence of any tangible leadership, the teams turned on each other. A fight broke out. I ran, screaming like a little girl. An impromptu 3vs2 Backstage Brawl destroyed what little furniture I had in my office, leaving a trail of destruction like a tornado had passed through. Our woefully inept 'security' team arrived way too late, finally pulling the fighters apart, to reveal me trembling beneath what remained of my desk, cowering like some kind of traumatised earthquake victim. Angle rating: 39.



Angle: Another Bhangra Dance Explosion.

It'd been at least a month since our last Bhangra dance explosion. Given all the months it'd taken to finally crown the new GBW Tag Team Champions, I thought it only right to let the Bhangra Knights throw a party. There was enough ethnic dancing and celebration to warm even our freezing cold Old Mill venue. I couldn't help but smile for RJ Singh, Tiger Ali and Prince Ameen as our tidy bundle of fans sang and chanted their names - they'd earned this. Angle rating: 37.





The Bhangra Knights vs 'Party Boy' Liam Slater & Timmy Force - For The GBW Tag Team Titles

I could lie and say the fans were excited by Liam Slater's choice of partner. I could say they were excited to see little Timmy Force strutting to the ring. But I'll be honest with you - nobody gave a shit. It was a fun match though and the Knights were great as usual. Goofy high flying stuff, helped greatly by great chemistry between Force and Slater. Singh and Ali finished it with a top rope Tidal Wave variant they call the 'Delhi Dive', after their buddy Prince Ameen distracted from ringside. Match rating: 42.



Angle: They Wanna Fight, I Wanna Let 'Em.

Sam Bailey had been ringside during the match, cheering on his former tag partner Slater. He took offence to Ameen distracting at ringside, climbed into the ring and started shouting at the self-proclaimed 'Prince'. The two started shoving each other. I intervened before a 3 vs 3 brawl could break out. If they wanted to fight so bad, I was happy to let them. Angle rating: 35.





'Super' Sam Bailey vs Prince Ameen

It's amazing how two guys beating the crap out of each other for 13 minutes can make them friends. After Bailey won, he and Ameen were shaking hands and hugging like old buddies. It was a good bout between two good high flyers. Many backflips and stuff. Fun. Match rating: 40.



Angle: Video Time II + Hayes Makes Friends.

Our online broadcast then cut to a video recapping Hayes screwing Singh, Bailey, Cruz and every fan in the building. Step by step, show by show. You've been reading this memoir, you know exactly what shenanigans I'm talking about. The video then cut to all who had been wronged by our smug yet angry little champion, all stating how badly they wanted Hayes' blood. It's a hard life being the GBW World Champion when everyone's coming after you.

Hayes strutted to the ring in response to the video, and pissed off every fan by smugly bragging about still being champion. He had destroyed all the top competitors in GBW, he proclaimed. Finlay Jr tried to speak but in a wonderful wrestling moment Hayes wouldn't let him have the mic. Finlay Jr sulked. Hayes ranted on. He sent out a message to Singh - he didn't care if that 'Punjabi Punk Bitch' wanted revenge; he was 20 steps ahead of the 'Bhangra Bitches'. "Singh had a chance at the title. Singh lost. Singh is still crying like a ponce" decreed Joey with all the subtlety of a kick to the nuts. "He will never get another title shot while I am champion" he added.

His rant continued as he told the world he didn't care that Bailey still wanted revenge, he lost when they fought, and Hayes would make sure they never shared a ring again. Hayes also didn't care whether Cruz regained his #1 contender's spot, claiming he'd got him scouted. Cruz's music suddenly filled the air. Hayes and Finlay Jr bravely vacated the ring to scout from ringside. Angle rating: 46.





New Blood - The Rematch: 'Aussie' Mark Davis vs Nathan Cruz vs Blood. If Davis loses, he's gone from GBW forever. If Cruz loses he can't fight for any title for all of 2020. If Blood loses, he's fired!

This rematch was a much more evenly contested, wide-open contest - mainly due to the fact the line-up didn't randomly change half way through like last time. A good match which reminded the fans that GBW could occasionally produce hard-hitting traditional strong style wrestling, not just the cheesy high-flying bullshit that normally decorates our shows.

It was nearly marred when Blood had one of his psychotic episodes and tried strangling Mark Davis to death in the middle of the ring. Fortunately Blood's mysterious un-named adviser leaped into the ring to prevent a death, a disqualification and a firing. I waited until Blood was suitably calmed down before I had security escort this unknown manager from the building. Nathan Cruz's buddies in The Prestige used this momentary distraction to storm the ring and sneak-attack Cruz's opponents. For once GBW's 'Security Force' actually did their job, and ejected these interlopers too. Sadly by then Davis - having been strangled half to death, then kicked the shit out of by The Prestige, was badly shaken enough for Cruz to apply a nasty-looking Triangle Hold for the win.

That sneaky bastard Cruz had regained a title shot he could cash in any time. Davis, now motionless in the ring, could never fight in GBW again. And as the security team returned to ringside, I cowered behind them while reminding Blood that he was fired for losing the match. I expected him to try and rip my eyes out or something, but he just walked away laughing instead. Clearly he and his un-named ally were up to something. Match rating: 40.



Angle: This One Starts Off Fun, But Ends A Bit Tragic.

The Prestige, still bitter and twisted after their run-in with GBW security, were wandering the backstage area looking for a fight. It wasn't long before they just so happened to stumble upon The Dark Circus, Bailey & Slater. What a coincidence. This is the world of pro wrestling, so naturally a big, elaborate brawl broke out. Having their tag team spots cancelled had really set them all off. They dealt with no longer being able to team up by beating the crap out of each other. This was the second brawl of the evening already. As was the GBW tradition, it was cartoon mayhem in the place of real violence. Hitting with a huge foam finger. Bouncing each other off vending machines. Spraying each other with fire extinguishers. You get the idea. They brawled into the cantine, where much to the fan's amusement (but not the critics) a full food fight broke out. Mashed potatoes flew everywhere. Several pies were ruined. A toaster exploded over someone's skull. Two grown men had a sword fight with rolling pins. All harmless, family-friendly tripe, but the fans loved it.

Things would quickly take a frightening turn, however. This comedic mass brawl ended with Jokey being thrown down the stairs. There were screams. There was panic. The frantic battle immediately halted. Paramedics were called. Jokey was stretchered away, screaming in agony with every painful moment. A suspected broken leg. Game over. Angle rating: 50.





New Blood Series - 'Big Daddy' Walter vs John 'Asylum' Doe - The Clash Of The Giants

I always hated battles between the big men in WWE, WCW and their like. They'd find the biggest, slowest, most cumbersome freaks and expect our awe as they did battle with all the speed of two glaciers slowly rubbing together. I got the best night's sleep of my life the first time Goldberg and Lesnar did battle, and so did the tens of thousands of poor bastards who paid to watch that garbage.

There was no chance of a snooze-fest with these two though. It started at a frantic pace, then somehow got faster. I paid a fortune to lure perhaps the best giant in Europe, Austria's 'Big Daddy' Walter. Could we afford it? Hell no. Was it worth it? Every penny... as Walter and Doe uncorked the greatest match in GBW's early history. I told both guys to surprise the fans with their speed, along with bone-crunching brutality. Both delivered in spades. These two massive bastards nearly broke our cheap-ass ring twice with the impact of their moves. It was a real war. The seemingly indestructible Asylum went through hell and was barely able to stand by the time this one finished, but was able to snatch a victory in the hardest battle of his career to date. A number #1 contender's spot was his - a scary prospect indeed. Match rating: 59.



Angle: Hayes Meets His Match.

'Super' Sam Bailey and RJ Singh come to the ring, the Bhangra Knights behind them. They announced they'd had enough of Hayes running around with 'their' title, saying he was a disgrace to the company. His behaviour was undignified and brought shame and embarrassment to GBW and its title, they said, in a promo that couldn't have been more scripted and rehearsed if it tried. They still craved revenge, and so on. I cut them off and surprisingly found myself agreeing with Hayes - they both had title shots. They both lost.

Hayes came to the ring and wasted no time in calling them both cry babies. He then called me the worst fed owner in British wrestling history. He 'modestly' stated that he was single-handedly carrying the company, and that germs like me, Bailey and Singh should bow to him for all he'd done to elevate this ramshackle, piss-poor little company. I was about to respond when suddenly Asylum ran to the ring. Despite having had a war just minutes earlier he threw Bailey, Singh, Ali and Ameen out the ring like they were dirty laundry. He then pointed to Hayes's belt and made a throat slitting gesture. It was pretty clear what he wanted.

As GBW's pet monster cashed in his title shot, I made it a No Disqualification bout because I was frankly tired of Haye's shit. Hayes was shitting kittens and ran to the top of the ramp. Asylum used his freakishly long legs to catch up to him, and spent most of the match beating the crap out of him, much to the delight of our fans. Angle rating: 55.





Joey Hayes vs John 'Asylum' Doe - For The GBW World Title

Despite Doe having just been in the biggest fight of his life, he dominated... until the moment he went for that Superplex. Hayes low-blowed him on the top turnbuckle, then pushed him off the top rope, through the announcer's table, to the concrete below. Most would be out cold from such an impact. Asylum was, at best, momentarily stunned. The GBW Champion then received help from an unlikely source - The Prestige, along with Hayes's lackey Finlay Jr, pounced immediately, hitting the challenger with the World Title, a cricket bat, a golf club, a polo mallet and one of the wooden panels from the destroyed table. It was a 5-on-1 massacre. Yet he somehow just sat up, seemingly more annoyed than hurt, and started knocking them all silly with massive haymaker punches, chasing them into the ring, swatting them like flies. All 5 men jumped on Asylum in unison, pinning him to the canvas. The weight of them all was just enough to hold him down for 3 seconds, handing Hayes the win under highly controversial circumstances. Match rating: 48.



Angle: The Prestige Just Got 2 Powerful New Members.

Joey Hayes and Cruz shook hands and celebrated their triumph in the ring. The Prestige now had 5 members! As the fans started throwing stuff at GBW's newest, most unpopular alliance, our entire security force descended upon Asylum before he could strike them all down. As the show drew to a close, The Prestige were celebrating for now, but they had a new and powerful enemy to add to their growing list of foes. Angle rating: 46.


Overall Show Rating: 48.



Last edited by dstephe4 : 03-26-2020 at 03:02 PM.
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Default The One With All The Promises







Sabrina Casaraghi, known to the world of Great British Wrestling as Jokey, was an enigma. A fangirl favourite with a vocal online following. The first female member of a company that would go on to feature some of the finest womens wrestling talent on the planet. She showed courage in being the first in GBW to fight her male peers, making a mockery of gender boundries and the old, sexist attitudes that have dogged wrestling for generations. Yet she was also dangerously under-trained, not particularly talented and at times a genuine risk to the safety of others. She was all of the above, and so much more. A dream and a nightmare in one small, plucky Italian frame.

The time had come for me to make a decision. Unfortunately there was no right answer, no 'good guy' move to use and no moral high ground to call upon. No matter what actions I chose, whether I let her stay or showed her the door, I'd come out looking like crap. In the end I did neither. Will history judge me as wise or stupid for letting things happen the way they did? Even now, all these years on I have no clue. I write these memoirs of GBW's history to try and kill some of the rumours and bullshit that's been said about my company. But I look back on this time with unseasy ambiguity.

I want to make it absolutely clear that despite being the least talented member of an uninspiring roster, I never once criticised her for her performances, or put pressure on her in any way. It was entirely her decision to leave, as she was homesick for her friends and family back in Italy. It made sense - the rainy, freezing cold, dog-shit covered streets of England must've seemed like a poor substitute for the sun-drenched plazas of home.



She was annoyed that I made to attempt whatsoever to stop her from going. So she waited until I was surrounded by the entire GBW roster before dropping this little bomb on me: she made me promise that her replacement could not be a man. I was absolutely cool with that. The whole of Great British Wrestling witnessed that promise, and I would be true to my word and keep it. It was only the later subsequent promises which would turn a nice gesture into a catastrophic pain in my arse.

Jokey's tag partner Eddie Vega had eventually agreed with my suggestion that he be pushed as a solo competitor. But he sorely missed his "muse". He needed someone to bounce his twisted ideas off. A partner in crime; an accomplice in his war on the mental wellbeing of GBWs younger fans. He made me promise, in front of a whole bunch of witnesses, that Jokey would be replaced immediately with a new signing who would genuinely scare the crap out of people. Eddie was travelling all the way from Scandinavia every month and basically working for crumbs. I'd hired him on promises of tag team glory, which I'd suddenly just ripped away from him. I couldn't exactly say "no" to the guy, could I? So I made a promise, and thanks to everyone hearing it, I'd be forced to back it up or look like a total prick.

Then after the show I kicked myself in the nuts again with another shitty promise. Nathan Cruz had been an unofficial spokesman for the locker room since day one. He was their voice, their go-to guy - the most influential member of the roster. I had to keep this guy sweet, especially considering he was the one who'd raised the whole Jokey issue in the first place. He blindsided me and made me promise that Jokey's replacement could not be another woman. This was nothing to do with bigotry or sexism. Cruz and his followers had no problem at all sharing a ring with female wrestlers, would happily take losses to women and were fine with putting female superstars over. But Cruz and the locker-room collective had looked carefully at the sutuation. There'd been a number of occasions where Jokey's lack of skill had left her male counterparts with everything from concussions to fractured ribs. She wasn't just bad, she was dangerous. There were some hugely talented female wrestlers on the scene at the time who I'd have loved to welcome to the GBW family. But all of them were either tied up by commitmentments elsewhere, or put off by the fact we were a microscopic little fed in the middle of nowhere with zero prestige and even less credibility. Plus all the top female wrestlers sought financial parity with their male competitors, which in laymen's terms meant they were really, really expensive. There were local drunken hobos in nearby alleyways with more money than GBW, and everybody knew it. So if I was forced to hire a woman, the roster feared it would be someone of Jokey's ilk - cheap and terrible. Cruz and the rest of the male GBW crew would happily embrace a top class female fighter. They just knew I was too much of a punk to get them one. Frankly nobody wanted the risk of getting their necks broken by someone who wasn't talented enough or safe enough to hang with them.

So I had one hell of a dilemma. Thanks to my big mouth I now had to hire a replacement for Jokey immediately or I'd forever be seen as an untrustworthy arsehole liar. That replacement had to be a woman, otherwise I'd look like an untrustworthy arsehole liar. But the replacement could not be a woman, or else I would have made myself out to be a total untrustworthy arsehole liar. And also whoever I did manage to get had to be terrifying, otherwise I'd look like a total shitbag liar. What a pickle.

Fortunately I did the best possible thing in that situation - I got incredibly drunk. It was my tangled, booze-soaked, intoxicated little brain that solved this connundrum, and many more after it. I made a hiring that broke no promises whatsoever. It was a masterstroke. It was genuis. It was brilliant. Screw modesty and all that crap. Screw down-playing my achievements. Hell, it was the most creative hiring in British wrestling history. And anyone who disagrees certainly had to admit my next move was unique in all of wrestling. And best of all, the fans of GBW wouldn't have to wait long to see what my devious little brain had come up with.

More coming soon. Thanks again to the tiny group of readers who kindly take the time to read this silly little diary of mine - it is appreciated.


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Default The One That's A Blatant Bump, In Which I'm Clearly Stalling For Time

Thanks again to all who have been doing predictions so far in this diary. I've added up all the scores and will do a fancy display thingy for them all either today or tomorrow. Thank you all for reading.

Might spend some time tarting up the graphics etc now this diary is turning out to be kind of a long running (ish) thing.

Chapter 9 card and other associated meaty goodness coming soon too.

Last edited by dstephe4 : 02-25-2020 at 10:46 AM.
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I'm looking forward to seeing what you do graphic wise, eagerly waiting for Chapter 9 card.
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Default The One With A Startling Lack Of Fancy New Graphics








Show held at The Old Mill in Leigh, Thursday Week 3, March 2020. Attendance: 72.





Nathan Cruz vs Prince Ameen

Before the match Cruz tried to complain about having to defend his #1 Contender's spot. He said it was "an injustice of gargantuan proportions, an inquisition not seen like the days of ancient Spain. This is intolerable oppression..." I cut off his mic, rang the bell - Ameen and his buddies Ali and Singh pounced on him like piranhas. Cruz's allies The Prestige flooded the ring to defend their comrade. Bodies everywhere. Goofy pro-wrestling carnage broke out. Somewhere among an entertaining tornado of flying bodies and ridiculous bumps there was a pretty good opening bout. I can't even begin to describe all the mad, zany shit that went on. Suffice to say Cruz won the battle after some industrial-strength cheating and plenty of Prestige interference. Ameen was pissed. Cruz still had a title shot he could cash-in any time. And our 9th show was off to a flyer. Match rating: 42.



Angle: Get On With It, Already.

The Bhangra Knights were still in the ring after Ameen's loss and were angrily demanding an opponent to take their frustrations out on. RJ Singh and Ali announced they wanted to defend their titles "right here! Right now!" The camera cut to me in my ringside commentary position as our tiny audience keenly awaited my answer. I opened another beer, shrugged, rang the bell, and let them get on with it. Angle rating: 38.





The Bhangra Knights vs Eddie Vega & ???

With all the speculation taking place as to who would replace Jokey, our online audience were keen to see who would become the other half of the Dark Circus. GBW's demented clown Eddie Vega came to ring alone, slid calmly into the ring, and immediately started throwing punches. He did surprisingly well despite the 2 vs 1 disadvantage. The 3 competitors treated us all to a decent, fun match. Finally the numerical advantage of the Bhangra Boyz took effect, and a two-man Delhi Driver had Vega in trouble. He beat a near 3-count and rolled out of the ring to safety. Suddenly he ran off through the curtains to the backstage area. I stopped the referee from doing a count out, curious to see what tricks Vega had planned.

He returned seconds later with his new tag partner... Gerald.

Who was Gerald, you ask?

This is Gerald:



Meet Gerald, everybody. Gerald the fücking lion.

The Knights ran for their lives, which was perfectly understandable. Our bravely stupid / stupidly brave referee John Myers immediately DQ'd Vega for bringing a lion to the ring, which was also perfectly understandable. The lion pounced on Myers, perhaps in an act of bestial retribution, ripping his referee's shirt with it's massive claws, before going for the jugular. Myers did what he does best - he cried, pissed his pants, then fainted. I ran into the ring and forced Vega to get his God-damned lion under control, which he did with ease. Looking back at the footage you can clearly see the look of utter disbelief on my face - I bet Vince McMahon never had to deal with this crazy shit. I tried not to look terrified as I marched Eddie and his new 'tag partner' out the ring and towards the backstage area. I'm pretty sure it was only my bad aftershave that stopped me becoming the lion's dinner. Either way this match-up got people talking, to say the least.

Referee John Myers would spend the rest of the show sat in the corner of the ring twitching, crying and moaning. I guess I could've done more to help that poor, traumatised little bastard - I'm not sure if the box of tissues I gave him to cry into was much use. He never quite got over his run-in with the lion. In the short-term it effectively rendered every other match on the card a No Disqualification bout, as our only referee was in no fit state to officiate. To say the roster took advantage of the situation would be the understatement of the year. Match rating: 39.



Angle: 5 Becomes 4.

Next up was GBW Champion Joey Hayes holding court in the ring, sorting out business. He was not happy. His face was still marked up from his brutal encounter with John 'Asylum' Doe last time. He got right in the face of his 'bodyguard' David Finlay Jr, yelling about how he was pissed at how he left him alone in the ring with Asylum for so long before finally running in at the end. Angrily, he told Finlay Jr he didn't need a bodyguard any more; he had The Prestige now - they'd do a real job of watching his back. Finlay was fired! The self-titled '4th Generation Superstar' did what we all wish we could do to our bosses - he punched him right in the teeth. Our fans loved him for that - he'd gone from despised heel to beloved babyface with one movement of his arm. The Prestige kicked the crap out of him and tossed him out the ring like garbage to a cacophony of boos. The 5 man stable was now 4. Angle rating: 41.



Angle: The Hit List.

Our broadcast then cut to a pre-recorded promo by GBWs maniac John 'Asylum' Doe. He couldn't make it tonight but our team of underpaid student minions covered nicely with this mini-masterpiece of a video. Doe was crying about 'Corona Sadness' or 'Crooner Spiders' or 'Cruder Spices' or something. Christ only knew what he was talking about - it was impossible to hear him through that hockey mask. Long story short he was at home with a box of tissues, crying like a bitch. The guys in the locker-room told me it was serious. Maybe I should've listened, but I'd had so much whiskey he could've burst into flames and I wouldn't have noticed. But I digress... his video was much more important...

Beginning with a close-up of his psychotic, unblinking eyes, the camera slowly zoomed out revealing his blood-spattered masked face, then his massive shadowy frame, then finally the wall behind him:





It was a hit list. Up top were the names who had fallen to him so far, their names crossed out. Beneath was the name of every member of the GBW roster yet to face his wrath. Our commentary finally cut through the eerie silence:

Ryan Devlin: Is... is that blood?!

Jonny Marx (me): That'd better be ketchup! This is a family show!

Ryan Devlin: I think Asylum's sending all of GBW a message here, loud and clear! He's gonna go after them all, one by one!

Jonny Marx: My advice to anyone whose name's on that wall? Run and hide!

Angle rating: 89.





'Party Boy' Liam Slater vs 'Super' Sam Bailey

When Bailey joined GBW a great happiness came with him. I don't know why, but looking at that massive, ridiculous afro of his filled me full of joy. I was resplendent in its majesty. But at some point in the build-up to Chapter 9 that mean, goofy bastard had a hair-cut. Suddenly all the sunshine was gone from the universe. Life's euphoria has been suddenly shat out into the toilet-waters of eternity and flushed away like some kind of cosmic turd. The world was sensible now. Boring. Dull. Grey. The match between these two was anything but dull, or grey, or boring. The fans really liked it. There was even a Booker T-esque Spinerooni. But who gives a shit? The afro was gone, and so were a thousand of my smiles. Bailey won. The two former tag partners shook hands and went for beers, leaving me alone at ringside, mourning the afro-shaped hole in my existence. Match rating: 42.



Angle: Introducing Messiah Hallberg.

Next up, Blood's mysterious manager finally revealed his identity, during a segment recorded earlier in the day. The venomous Messiah Hallberg was one of Scandinavia's most controversial, outspoken and wealthiest celebrities. And here he was in my office, trying to get his 'protege' Blood reinstated into GBW. His chilling, unblinking eyes were fixed upon me like a young Hannibal Lecter. He turned the very air around him to ice as he spoke. I told him that Blood was too dangerous for Great British Wrestling, and that it'd only be a matter of time before that psychopath maimed, crippled or killed someone.

Messiah shook his head, smiled his creepy little smile, and stated he had enough money and enough power to make anything happen. "Do not doubt this, Mr Marx. My shoes are worth more than your whole company. I could bankrupt you with a single phone call, leaving you forever destitute and humiliated. But I shall not, for I know you to be a reasonable man. You will accept what I am about to offer you, because it is the only realistic choice you have." He made me an offer: put Blood in with the biggest fighter in GBW, 'Big Daddy' Walter, at our next show. He'd pay Walter's wages as our piss-pot promotion couldn't afford it. If Walter won, Hallberg would pay for Walter to appear in GBW for a whole year, and he and Blood will be gone from GBW forever. He even offered me a sworn affidavit to back this up. If Blood won, he'd get fully reinstated into GBW. Blood would work for free, and Messiah will pay all his opponent's wages. Hallberg would take full responsibility for him, and keep him under control. He claimed to understand the twisted mind of Blood. "I can can control him, Mr Marx, as I can control anyone." Angle rating: 43.



Angle: Finlay's Revenge.

David Finlay Jr was still battered and bruised after being fired from The Prestige, then having his arse kicked by his former friends. I was understandably more than just a bit upset by all this. He issued an open challenge to any Prestige member who dared face him, and swore he'd channel 4 generations of fighting pride to get revenge at any cost. The fans were starting to dig Finlay Jr and his new no-bullshit attitude. The Prestige answered the call from a safe distance at the top of the ramp, where Earl Black Jr accepted the challenge. Angle rating: 40.





David Finlay Jr vs Earl Black Jr

In a battle of next generation superstars, we saw a whole new side to Finlay Jr, who brawled the crap out of his un-prepared foe. It was like seeing Fit Finlay in there, smashing skulls. The Prestige tried to interfere but GBW's rabble of a 'security team' actually did their job for once and kept them away from the ring - there was no other option, as our only referee John Myers was still sat in the corner of the ring crying over his run-in with Gerald The Lion earlier in the show.

Earl Black Jr got some good moves in, but could do nothing to prevent the unstoppable force of his pissed off, revenge-seeking opponent. There was a flash pinfall, a 3 count, and a quick escape by Finlay Jr before The Prestige could swoop in. The fans chanted the name of a new hero as a stricken Black Jr looked mortified in defeat. Match rating: 30.



Angle: 4 Becomes 3... And One For Next Time.

The Prestige were furious. They dragged Earl Black Jr to his feet and began screaming in his face. Moments later Nathan Cruz and Joey Hayes got on the mic, and fired Black Jr for losing! Black, still stunned from his grueling loss, was left dumbfounded. To add insult to injury, Sebastian then cheap-shotted his former friend from behind, kicking him to the canvas. Hayes and Cruz joined in, stomping the crap out of their ex-comrade. Suddenly the fans cheered as Finlay Jr ran back into the ring and began busting heads, trying to save the man he was fighting moments ago. He was on a roll until Hayes brayed him with the GBW World Title. Then it was him and Black getting the crap kicked out of them by The Prestige. A Face Turn was on the cards.

Enough was enough. I got in the ring, and with the help of 'GBW Security' managed to hold the warring faction apart. I announced Cruz & Sebastian vs Finlay Jr & Black Jr for our next show. The fans were pleased. The Prestige's 3 remaining members certainly were not. Angle rating: 39.



Angle: Enough Bitching Already.

I then called out Sam Bailey and RJ Singh. Last show they were once again complaining about Joey Hayes, how he' screwed them both over since day one with his underhanded tricks, etc etc. I told them I was sick of their whining almost as much as I was sick of Hayes. I declared Bailey and Singh would face each other at the next show - the winner gets Hayes! I insisted upon one condition though: after the match they'd have to shut up about 'revenge' and being 'screwed over' for good. The winner would get to settle the score once and for all. It was about time the bad blood was finally dealt with. Angle rating: 32.





New Blood Series - Session Moth Martina vs Sebastian

In the build-up to this fight, Sebastian took to Social Media and told the world he refused to fight a lady, saying it was 'ungentlemanly'. He stated Martina was 'only here to make GBW popular with women. It's a publicity stunt. Women shouldn't be wrestling. It's political correctness gone mad'. Session Moth clearly had this in mind as she kicked him in the face to begin their battle. Suddenly all Sebastian's lofty ideals about not hitting women are gone. Game on.

It was a very open 50/50 match-up. Sebastian used his first GBW bout as a singles wrestler to highlight his mat wrestling skills, showcasing some crisp submission holds. Session Moth used her time in the spotlight to drink Strongbow Dark Fruits cider and to Twerk all over our petrified referee. Don't let the sillyness or the bright pink Reebok tracksuit fool you though - she can wrestle too, as Sebastian found out when she reversed his Elevated Surfboard submission hold into a Backslide Pin for the sudden 1-2-3. The Prestige ran to the ring to aid their snobby little comrade, but were a split second too late. Session Moth was now a fully-fledged part of Great British Wrestling. Match rating: 32.



Angle: True Colours.

Despite all their lofty pretensions moral elitism, The Prestige showed their true colours. Hayes, Sebastian and Cruz immediately started stomping holes into GBW's only female competitor. Our tiny but noisy slither of fans booed furiously and threw trash into the ring. Suddenly Black Jr and Finlay Jr ran to the ring make the save. The Prestige fled up the ramp, clearly having seen enough of their ex-teammates for one night.

Sickened by what I saw, I changed the 2vs2 I'd arranged earlier to a 3vs3. At our next show it would be all 3 remaining members of The Prestige vs Session Moth, Black Jr and Finlay Jr. "Oh, and if anyone pins Hayes, they get his title" I added with a smile. "And as further punishment for being an unbearable tit, here's Joey's opponent for tonight..." Angle rating: 51.





Joey Hayes vs 'Big Daddy' Walter - For The GBW World Title

The Prestige and the ex-Prestige are did the sensible thing upon seeing a near 7ft Austrian monster charging towards them - they ran for their lives. Hayes was terrified and suddenly all alone. He tried to run away. Walter grabbed him by the hair with his freakishly large hands, causing the GBW Champion to squeal like a pig. A sneaky low blow quickly turned the tide, however, followed by a blow to the back of the head with the World Title belt. Any decent referee in the business would have instantly disqualified Hayes for that, but our official was hiding under the ring, sobbing.

After a surprisingly open couple of minutes, the tide inevitably turned in Walter's favour given the frankly hilarious size difference between the two. 'Big Daddy' hit the GBW Champion with a barrage of genuinely brutal moves which would have destroyed most athletes. The punishment the champion took was immense and sometimes even frightening - the fans loved it - no wonder given their hatred of Hayes.

But as the fight wore on something impressive happened: Hayes would just not quit. He took a superhuman amount of damage but would simply not lay down, no matter how impossible things looked. Before our very eyes the cowardly, buffoonish Hayes we knew and detested was being stripped away, revealing a side of the champion we'd never seen before - Hayes the warrior. After 15 minutes of arse-kicking that'd make Rocky Balboa wince, Walter hit what could geniunely be referred to as The Chokeslam From Bloody Hell. The impact was so loud and so powerful our fans fell silent. But even though he was barely conscious, Hayes still somehow found the strength to kick out.

Enraged, the mountainous Austrian challenger dragged his prey to the top turnbuckle, the steel cornerpost nearly crumbling under his immense weight. He hoisted Hayes high up into the air for a killer Top Rope Powerbomb... but somehow the GBW Champion found the strength to reverse it into a Top Rope Hurricanrana. The impact of the two men hitting the canvas literally tore a hole through the ring. It was one of the biggest 'Holy Shit' moments in GBW's early history.

Both men lay unmoving in the shattered remains of our ring for what seemed like an eternity. Finally there was movement. Barely able to move after the biggest war of his career, Hayes somehow managed to drape an arm over the fallen giant. As our traumatised referee performed the count, our fans stood in unison and applauded the GBW Champion. They would go right back to hating him by our next show, but for one night only he had earned their genuine respect. And just as importantly, the GBW World Championship was still his to defend. Match rating: 46.


Overall Show Rating: 52.



Last edited by dstephe4 : 03-26-2020 at 02:57 PM.
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